If I can give you one piece of advice it's this. Relationships aren't going to stay good just because you're compatible. Times change us. All of us. None of us can escape it. Face it ladies, we all have hormonal "issues". Some have them worse and more frequently than others. And while the men out there may not like this, yes, you guys have them too. Stress changes how we react to things. Things that normally may not bother us, can drive us crazy. I once got mad at my husband for being too nice and offering to buy us things that we wanted at the mall. It's true. I know you're all thinking "What?? Jodi's not perfect?" Sorry, but it's true. We'll get through it together...
Let me share a secret with you. My husband still loves me even though I act a little weird every so often. Crazy, huh? After more than 13 years of marriage, we still love each other. Without a doubt, I love him more now than I did back when we were dating. We know that there will be times of stress, and trust me, there have been quite a few of those thanks to the economy, but we also know that we will be there for each other no matter what.
Dating is great because both involved are so infatuated that issues are mostly non-existant. However, that does eventually wear off. The "newness" of the relationship dulls. And you're only left with each other. Imperfect as we all are, the flaws start to creep up.
When a relationship is based on physical attraction, it is left wide open for issues in the future. Being physically attracted to someone doesn't provide a fix for a loved one's death. How do you comfort your boyfriend or girlfriend when their brother passes away if you don't know them in an emotional way? There has to be an emotional bond outside of physical attraction. That physical attraction will die without an emotional bond. Guaranteed.
When you find someone that you think you could spend the rest of your life with, you have to make the decision to stick with it. It's kind of like choosing to believe your friend over someone else if they say they didn't do something. You don't know for sure, but you still choose. I like to compare it to my faith in God. God may not always do things the way I want Him to, but I still believe in Him. If you think about it, all we have is faith. Faith in God, faith in our families, faith in our friends, faith in our work, and hopefully faith in ourselves. Without faith, what do we have?
One last thing. When you're in a relationship with someone don't let yourself wander outside of the boundary that only you can set for yourself. Be careful that you don't unintentionally find yourself suddenly having feelings for someone else. Don't take a chance that it will be "greener on the other side". Most of the time it's not true. No relationship is perfect. They all take work. Not "most" or "some"...all.
In closing, I can honestly say that I still love to do what makes my husband happy, I love his smile, the sound of his voice, the smell of his cologne, the way he walks...he's everything I will ever need in a husband. Nothing will ever change that. I've made my choice and I choose daily to nurture what I have with everything in me.
beautiful post Jodi- so true! After 8 years together I love Russell more each day-things are not always those "warm fuzzies" you feel when everything is new...we have both changed a ton since we have matured mentally and spiritually- but we have continued to CHOOSE to love each other through good and bad and change together! I think new love is an emotion- true love is a choice! I thank God for such a wonderful husband :-)
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