"Anyway" Love

I received the below in an e-mail and wanted to share it with all of you. Did you know that God wants us to love "anyway", not "because"? Enjoy...

On Valentine's Day, Meg went all out, giving her husband, Peter, his favorite candy and tickets to a hockey game. Later that night, she wrapped herself in a special outfit purchased just for the occasion.

Peter got her a card.

At the grocery store.

That he purchased on the way home from work.

He didn't add anything to it, either. He just signed it, "Peter."

A couple of days later, Meg tried to explain that she felt a little taken for granted. Apparently, Peter misunderstood her intent because two months later, when they celebrated their anniversary, Peter didn't get Meg anything.

"How could you not get me anything for our anniversary?" she asked Peter the next day. "Especially after our conversation about Valentine's Day."

"Well, I thought about getting you something, but it didn't work out," he replied. "And then I knew not to get you a card because you said you didn't like that last time."

"It's not that I didn't like the card. It's that the card alone seemed a little sparse. But even that is better than nothing ..."

Several months later, Meg had a birthday. This time, Peter got her a present – a kitchen tool set. Several weeks before, Meg had asked to borrow Peter's tape measure and screwdriver. Peter figured that Meg should have her own small set of kitchen tools so she didn't have to borrow his.

Meg recounted all this and then explained how she had tried to get her husband to read several how-to books on loving your spouse. He would read the first few pages, lose interest and never pick the book up again.

"I've realized this is never going to change," she confessed. "But I love him anyway."

Because ...

That last statement of Meg's, "but I love him anyway," is one of the most profound theological statements on marriage I've ever heard. Most of us base love on because, not on anyway. I love you because you're good to me. I love you because you're kind, because you're considerate, because you keep the romance alive.

But in Luke 6:32-36, Jesus says we shouldn't love because. We should love anyway. If we love someone because that person is good to us, or gives back to us, or is kind to us, we're acting no better than anyone else. In essence, Jesus is saying you don't need the Holy Spirit to love a man who remembers every anniversary – not just the anniversary of your marriage, but the anniversary of your first date and your first kiss. Any woman could love a man like that. Or if you love a wife who lavishes you with sports gifts, who goes out of her way to make you comfortable when you get home from work and who wants sex anytime you do – well, you're doing what any man would do. There's no special credit in that!

But if you love a spouse who disappoints you, who can be a little self-absorbed – now you're loving anyway. In doing that, you're following the model of the heavenly Father, who loves the ungrateful and the wicked.

... Or Anyway

Will you love only because? Or are you willing to love anyway? Will you love a man or woman who doesn't appreciate your sacrifice? Will you love a husband or wife who takes you for granted? Will you love a spouse who isn't nearly as kind to you as you are to him or her?

Just about every faithless marriage is based on because love. Christians are called toanyway love. That's what makes us different. That's what gives glory to God. That's what helps us appreciate God's love for us, because God loves us anyway. He gives and gives and gives – and we take Him for granted. He is eager to meet with us, and we get too busy to notice Him. He is good to us, and we accuse Him mercilessly when something doesn't go just the way we planned it.

But God loves us anyway. To love anyway is to love like God – and to learn about God's love for us.

That's love, the way God intended it.

Relationships

Ahhh relationships...where to start. I remember when my husband and I first started dating. He was all that mattered. I would do whatever he wanted to do if it made him happy. I loved to see him smile. I loved the sound of his voice, the smell of his cologne, the way he walked...Ok, enough daydreaming...on to the blogging...

If I can give you one piece of advice it's this. Relationships aren't going to stay good just because you're compatible. Times change us. All of us. None of us can escape it. Face it ladies, we all have hormonal "issues". Some have them worse and more frequently than others. And while the men out there may not like this, yes, you guys have them too. Stress changes how we react to things. Things that normally may not bother us, can drive us crazy. I once got mad at my husband for being too nice and offering to buy us things that we wanted at the mall. It's true. I know you're all thinking "What?? Jodi's not perfect?" Sorry, but it's true. We'll get through it together...

Let me share a secret with you. My husband still loves me even though I act a little weird every so often. Crazy, huh? After more than 13 years of marriage, we still love each other. Without a doubt, I love him more now than I did back when we were dating. We know that there will be times of stress, and trust me, there have been quite a few of those thanks to the economy, but we also know that we will be there for each other no matter what.

Dating is great because both involved are so infatuated that issues are mostly non-existant. However, that does eventually wear off. The "newness" of the relationship dulls. And you're only left with each other. Imperfect as we all are, the flaws start to creep up.

When a relationship is based on physical attraction, it is left wide open for issues in the future. Being physically attracted to someone doesn't provide a fix for a loved one's death. How do you comfort your boyfriend or girlfriend when their brother passes away if you don't know them in an emotional way? There has to be an emotional bond outside of physical attraction. That physical attraction will die without an emotional bond. Guaranteed.

When you find someone that you think you could spend the rest of your life with, you have to make the decision to stick with it. It's kind of like choosing to believe your friend over someone else if they say they didn't do something. You don't know for sure, but you still choose. I like to compare it to my faith in God. God may not always do things the way I want Him to, but I still believe in Him. If you think about it, all we have is faith. Faith in God, faith in our families, faith in our friends, faith in our work, and hopefully faith in ourselves. Without faith, what do we have?

One last thing. When you're in a relationship with someone don't let yourself wander outside of the boundary that only you can set for yourself. Be careful that you don't unintentionally find yourself suddenly having feelings for someone else. Don't take a chance that it will be "greener on the other side". Most of the time it's not true. No relationship is perfect. They all take work. Not "most" or "some"...all.

In closing, I can honestly say that I still love to do what makes my husband happy, I love his smile, the sound of his voice, the smell of his cologne, the way he walks...he's everything I will ever need in a husband. Nothing will ever change that. I've made my choice and I choose daily to nurture what I have with everything in me.